My Hope Is In You
I have always wanted a Mac.
It's just one of those items I wanted that was perfect for the work I do on a daily basis. I FINALLY was able to get one last year and have loved it! I can edit my videos, music and photos on it. I love the stability and the quality of this computer. I can't tell you how many laptops I have gone through over the years. Their lifespan hasn't been long causing me heartache and actual pain from trying to recover files. So I wanted the mac for the sustainability! I take it with me when I go out of town so I can work and it helps make my life a little easier when I need my work to be on the go in this crazy world I call my life. I recently went on a trip to Michigan to visit my grandmothers and brought my mac with me.
I had a normal work load that I needed to tackle while I was there. I brought out my mac, connected to my grandma's internet and sat down to get to work.
My mac was sooooo slooowwww.
I couldn't get a program to open. I couldn't get the internet to load. I was losing my mind.
What's that meme?
What's that meme?
"Before you marry someone, make them use a computer with really slow internet to see who they really are."
That was me!! I was getting SO irritated! I finally called my husband and laid it all out!
"Babe! Nothing will open! Nothing will load! My mac is BROKEN!"
My husband and all of his infinite wisdom spoke this truth to me:
"Honey, when was the last time you cleaned up your mac? Have you ever run a cleaner in the time that you've own it??"
The bottom line is that I had over 12,000 KB of garbage that had to get deleted from my computer. It was so clogged with internet cache, cookies, history, etc etc that it wasn't working properly any more! I got the cleaner up and running and waited (somewhat impatiently) for it to get all back to normal and after that I had a high functioning Macbook Pro once more! I was able to fly through the work I needed to get done! And I thought, "Why didn't I do this a long time ago??"
"Why didn't I do this a long time ago?"
Haven't we all thought this? At multiple stages in our lives? I'm working to simplify my life and cut out the fat in my day to day. Having a mac that works is one of the ways I'm doing that. But that's just one area in my life. One small, microscopic arena where I need things to work well so I can move on to the next thing. I'm a wife, a mom of two young girls and I have a growing and prosperous business that takes a lot of time and energy. I also work for my church. These 4 entities alone are what my days entail. If I'm not fueled, I run on empty and we all know that when a vehicle doesn't have fuel, it doesn't move forward.
My fuel is Jesus. If I don't center the start of my day around Him and offer myself as a living sacrifice for Him, I am running on empty. There was a time earlier this year when I was not doing this and let me tell you, I was a mess. I wasn't being patient with my kids. I wish I could say I wasn't supporting my husband enough at that time, but with what his work schedule was then, he was barely home and when he was home, he was asleep. So I was on my own quite a bit. We lived separate lives while maintaining our relationship, but it was on opposite schedules. So having everything the kids needed emotionally, physically and spiritually was coming from me. The house work was on me. My jobs were on me. I had all of this immense pressure on me to do it ALL and I wasn't taking care of myself spiritually the way I needed to in order to be able to meet the demands of my life.
Mother's Day this past year was a special day for me spiritually. I got myself to church with my girls. I got pulled over on my way and was left with a huge blessing of grace from the police officer who only gave me a warning and a call to action to go on a date with my husband instead of paying for the ticket. I drove away from that cop feeling SO thankful because A. I NEVER get warnings! and B. Date night had not happened in a long time. So I was excited about it! I got to church in a great mood and there was a guest speaker who was my Pastor's niece. She's a mom of two little boys about my girl's ages. She talked about dying to self and being filled with the spirit. How can we give our best to our children if we aren't giving our best to God first? How can we get the strength to choose joy and choose patience and choose love when our strength is gone if we aren't filled with the spirit?? I've heard these words my entire life, but never really grasped that concept until then. I had never been so stretched in my life and felt God speaking to me in such a heavy way. With tears in my eyes, I went up to her after that service and thanked her for her words and for obeying what God had told her to say. They were words I NEEDED to hear. I left church that day a broken woman. I've always been broken, but that day I realized that I was.
I think we sometimes get into the mode of complacency. We've accepted Christ. We understand what He's done for us. We go to church. We lead worship. We know we're going to heaven when we die. We aren't living our lives in dark alleys or getting involved with projects or work that is sinful. But where is Jesus in our day to day? Where is He fitting in? Are we worshipping Him throughout our mornings, afternoons and evenings? Are we trusting Him with our worries and fears or carrying them ourselves? Are we spending time in His word?
Revelation 3:16-22 says, "So, because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ' I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the spirit says to the churches."
Whoa.
That's God speaking to me right there.
We are lost, broken people without Christ. Even when we have accepted Christ, we are still broken people. We aren't immune to sin or temptation or failure. Our hearts need daily filling from God. We need to eat, breathe and sleep Jesus, in our minds before we open Facebook, turn on the TV or begin work, in our ears with the music we listen to, in our hearts with the conversations we have, in our prayers that we pray throughout the day and in the word that we set our eyes on.
So just like my Mac that needed to be cleaned up and rejuvenated, we need to continuously clean ourselves up. We can't operate to our fullest capabilities when we have garbage in our hearts that need cleansing. We can't think quick enough, speak lovingly enough or give graciously enough without God at our center.
Why did I wait so long to die to myself? Why did it take me walking to the edge of hopelessness to turn around and give Him the first part of my days?
Don't lose yourself in life when you don't have to.
Fill yourself up with the spirit first thing when your eyes open.
Good apps, websites and Instagram feeds to use for devotions and filling your day with Jesus:
She Reads Truth:
http://shereadstruth.com || https://www.instagram.com/shereadstruth/
You Version:
https://www.youversion.com || https://www.instagram.com/youversion/
Radiant Magazine:
http://radiantmagazine.org || https://www.instagram.com/radiantmagazine/
Proverbs 31 Ministries:
http://www.p31bookstore.com/collections/uninvited-product-collection
Grit & Virtue:
http: //gritandvirtue.com || https://www.instagram.com/gritandvirtue/
Propel Women:
https://www.instagram.com/propelwomen/
Fearfully Fashioned:
http://fearfullyfashioned.com/join/ || https://www.instagram.com/fearfullyfashioned/
"Why didn't I do this a long time ago?"
Haven't we all thought this? At multiple stages in our lives? I'm working to simplify my life and cut out the fat in my day to day. Having a mac that works is one of the ways I'm doing that. But that's just one area in my life. One small, microscopic arena where I need things to work well so I can move on to the next thing. I'm a wife, a mom of two young girls and I have a growing and prosperous business that takes a lot of time and energy. I also work for my church. These 4 entities alone are what my days entail. If I'm not fueled, I run on empty and we all know that when a vehicle doesn't have fuel, it doesn't move forward.
My fuel is Jesus. If I don't center the start of my day around Him and offer myself as a living sacrifice for Him, I am running on empty. There was a time earlier this year when I was not doing this and let me tell you, I was a mess. I wasn't being patient with my kids. I wish I could say I wasn't supporting my husband enough at that time, but with what his work schedule was then, he was barely home and when he was home, he was asleep. So I was on my own quite a bit. We lived separate lives while maintaining our relationship, but it was on opposite schedules. So having everything the kids needed emotionally, physically and spiritually was coming from me. The house work was on me. My jobs were on me. I had all of this immense pressure on me to do it ALL and I wasn't taking care of myself spiritually the way I needed to in order to be able to meet the demands of my life.
Mother's Day this past year was a special day for me spiritually. I got myself to church with my girls. I got pulled over on my way and was left with a huge blessing of grace from the police officer who only gave me a warning and a call to action to go on a date with my husband instead of paying for the ticket. I drove away from that cop feeling SO thankful because A. I NEVER get warnings! and B. Date night had not happened in a long time. So I was excited about it! I got to church in a great mood and there was a guest speaker who was my Pastor's niece. She's a mom of two little boys about my girl's ages. She talked about dying to self and being filled with the spirit. How can we give our best to our children if we aren't giving our best to God first? How can we get the strength to choose joy and choose patience and choose love when our strength is gone if we aren't filled with the spirit?? I've heard these words my entire life, but never really grasped that concept until then. I had never been so stretched in my life and felt God speaking to me in such a heavy way. With tears in my eyes, I went up to her after that service and thanked her for her words and for obeying what God had told her to say. They were words I NEEDED to hear. I left church that day a broken woman. I've always been broken, but that day I realized that I was.
I think we sometimes get into the mode of complacency. We've accepted Christ. We understand what He's done for us. We go to church. We lead worship. We know we're going to heaven when we die. We aren't living our lives in dark alleys or getting involved with projects or work that is sinful. But where is Jesus in our day to day? Where is He fitting in? Are we worshipping Him throughout our mornings, afternoons and evenings? Are we trusting Him with our worries and fears or carrying them ourselves? Are we spending time in His word?
Revelation 3:16-22 says, "So, because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ' I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the spirit says to the churches."
Whoa.
That's God speaking to me right there.
We are lost, broken people without Christ. Even when we have accepted Christ, we are still broken people. We aren't immune to sin or temptation or failure. Our hearts need daily filling from God. We need to eat, breathe and sleep Jesus, in our minds before we open Facebook, turn on the TV or begin work, in our ears with the music we listen to, in our hearts with the conversations we have, in our prayers that we pray throughout the day and in the word that we set our eyes on.
So just like my Mac that needed to be cleaned up and rejuvenated, we need to continuously clean ourselves up. We can't operate to our fullest capabilities when we have garbage in our hearts that need cleansing. We can't think quick enough, speak lovingly enough or give graciously enough without God at our center.
Why did I wait so long to die to myself? Why did it take me walking to the edge of hopelessness to turn around and give Him the first part of my days?
Don't lose yourself in life when you don't have to.
Fill yourself up with the spirit first thing when your eyes open.
Good apps, websites and Instagram feeds to use for devotions and filling your day with Jesus:
She Reads Truth:
http://shereadstruth.com || https://www.instagram.com/shereadstruth/
You Version:
https://www.youversion.com || https://www.instagram.com/youversion/
Radiant Magazine:
http://radiantmagazine.org || https://www.instagram.com/radiantmagazine/
Proverbs 31 Ministries:
http://www.p31bookstore.com/collections/uninvited-product-collection
Grit & Virtue:
http: //gritandvirtue.com || https://www.instagram.com/gritandvirtue/
Propel Women:
https://www.instagram.com/propelwomen/
Fearfully Fashioned:
http://fearfullyfashioned.com/join/ || https://www.instagram.com/fearfullyfashioned/
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