The Dentist is to Dental Health as a Therapist is to Mental Health

    TW:: Before you begin reading, please be aware of the topic discussion of eating disorders.

         If you're playin in the Jumanji game of 2020 like the rest of us are, you've had a lot of your life fall apart, and in some cases, new life has fallen into place!  But in others, a lot of us are left staring at the rubble of the life we had built.  There is a grand spectrum of how 2020 has effected us in the scheme of things and the impacts can be measured big and small.

    In one smaller case, our dentist appointments got cancelled due to quarantine back in May.  And I finally got us all back in to be seen.  I got my first teeth cleaning of 2020 in October.  I do not count this as a hardship by any means, it's just different and strange because our world shut down and normal things didn't happen like we expected them to 6 months beforehand.

    Before I lose you, thinking I'm just here to talk about cancelled dentist appointments due to Covid 19, stick with me!  I'm going somewhere with this.

     I have unusual wear on my teeth due to teeth clenching and grinding for my age.  I'm 33.  I've experienced stress and trauma in life and apparently I take it out on my teeth.  I have gum regression as well, which causes lots of sensitivity on my teeth.  My dentist measures my regression at each appointment and keeps track of it so we know where I am with all of that and know when we'll need to intervene because of it's severity.  We also talked about prevention with gum grafting and mouth guards.  These tools they're telling me about will slow down my deterioration that's happening due to stress and overall bad habits I've had.  If I follow up and use these tools, I can prevent more costly damage that will occur because of them.

    Okay! That's it on my dental health.  Now to get onto the more interesting focus of this blog!  And thank you for staying with me this far! 

    This made me think, as I was sitting in my chair at the dentist, about when I've sat in my chair at my therapist's office.  What is it that makes people think going to the dentist for our dental health is any different from going to a Psychotherapist's office for mental health?  Why is it okay to make an appointment with the eye dr. and have them examine our eyes for adjustments in our vision to fix our prescriptions, but it's been viewed as taboo to have a therapist check in with us and ask why we handle life the way we do?  Why is this stigma in place and how can I help people break it?  It is mental health awareness month and I want to give my experience with how I've utilized the world of therapy to help me be better.

    When I was 17-18 years old, I had very unhealthy relationships and I coped by developing an eating disorder.  I starved myself to have some sort of control, to be "beautiful" like other girls.  And then when I got weak and ate, I purged.  My parent's discovered this and it got so bad that they gave me the option to either enter into therapy or to go away to some type of ED recovery place.

I chose therapy.

And because of that option given to me at such a young age, I've continued to choose it.  In fact, I've chosen it 2 more times since then and in my latest meetings with a therapist, she told me that therapy is not here *only* when we're facing adversity, trauma, whatever we go through that we decide needs therapy.  She encouraged me to see a therapist even when I'm doing okay, just to check in with myself.  And I plan on doing this.

    Because, to me, therapy is the natural choice.

    I have a friend who deals with high functioning anxiety, but doesn't feel like she can justify therapy.  She feels like it's a luxury (which in some cases it is, but my goal is to help dismantle that ideal) and that she can deal with it on her own.  I asked her if her leg was broken if she would immediately go to the ER for it to be fixed?  She said yes!  And I asked her if she was bleeding profusely, would she wait for approval before she went to go get stitches?  She said no. So I said to her that she is dealing with so much going on in her head that causes her to alter scenarios so she doesn't have anxiety, why wouldn't she go get help to sort that out?  She says she needs to work on it on her own.  I won't sit here and tell you that you can't do that.  Because when we dig deep, we are very strong people and can conquer much, but when you make that humbling and difficult decision that you need the help of a professional, you allow yourself to discover a new way of living.  The first time I called to make myself an appointment, I was humiliated and I felt like I was doing something wrong.  But I stand on this side of therapy so thankful to myself for doing it.  When you go to therapy, you discover new ways to cope, healthier ways to work through grief, pain, trauma, etc.  You look back at yourself when you made that choice to get into therapy and you want to go and give that broken version of yourself a hug with a new, healing version of yourself.

Your teeth build up plaque.

Your spirit builds up painful experiences.

Your eye prescription changes.

Your outlook on life pivots with experiences.

    Plaque, eye prescriptions, trauma and trauma recovery should all be viewed in the same category and that category is that a professionally trained doctor should be the one to help you.  The hygienist that uses tools to scrape off the build up of plaque and the therapist who gives you tools to manage anxiety and depression MUST be viewed as one in the same.  The medication you receive for physical pain and the medication you receive for your mental health MUST be viewed as one in the same.  Making a doctor appointment for physical ailments and making an appointment for mental health MUST be viewed as one in the same.  Should we be blind because seeking help with our vision means our eyes are weak? No, just like we shouldn't live with trauma/pain/anxiety/depression ruling our lives because a call to a therapist seems to mean we are emotionally/mentally weak.

    Like my hygienist keeps track of my gum and dental health, a therapist keeps track of your mental health.

    Are you seeing my point yet?  Is it sticking?

    It's time to end the mental health stigma.  It's time to freely set up an appointment with a professional therapist when you're struggling in your day to day with anger, fear, anxiety, sadness, depression, dissociation, disconnection, trauma, PTSD, WHATEVER PLAGUES YOU.  Do the work and figure out who is in your network of health insurance.  If you don't have health insurance, search for out of pocket therapists.

    2020 has rocked us.  You don't have to endure this alone.  You can and should see someone to help you navigate this strange world we live in.  Our friends can only do so much to help us and we can't rely on them to get us through these difficult, tangled webs of life.  It isn't fair to look to them for healing.  Healing is our responsibility and a trained and educated professional is your guide to making that happen.  My sister in law said that healing is like climbing a mountain, and our therapists are our climbing guides.  They give us the tools and knowledge and wisdom to do it and that gets us half way up the mountain, but it's up to us to utilize what they've given to us to get to the summit of the mountain.  I know for a fact that the experiences I have had in my life that knocked me down were not climbable for me without my weekly therapy appointments. 

     If you're looking for someone to give you permission to get into therapy,  here it is.  You deserve to live a life in a state of healing if that privilege exists to you.