It's A Wonderful Life, No Matter What

For the last 6 years, my husband has worked the night shift.  He got his job that has set up our wonderful life in Virginia.  We bought a house and started a family.  His nightshift job has made our life possible.  We prayed for this job and he worked really hard, went away for 3 months to train and lived a good life to be qualified to be hired.

His first shift was 2-10.  He never had weekends off.  He really couldn’t have much of a social life but we were grateful for the job and made the best of it! We really did! We hung out even though most other people couldn’t since he was off during the week! But we made sure we had fun and lived up our freedom before we had children.

November of 2011, He was put on 6pm-6am shift right as we became pregnant with our first child.  It wasn’t so bad.  He was able to help with nighttime feedings and burpings (among other things.  This man is a wonderful father) after our daughter was born and again, we made the best of it.  We were making good money with the nighttime and Sunday pay.  But as our daughter grew and eventually added another daughter, the night shift because gruesome. 

We realized we needed a change. And in this job climate with not many options, he needed to go back to school. I watched my husband slave over his work, come home from his 14 hour days and take exams, be part of group projects where the group did not participate and get incredible grades all the while.  He did that until it got overwhelming for our family.  My husband was killing himself to provide for us and work towards a better life.  It was hard on his health and rough on our marriage.  We decided he was “qualified” enough for his new career path and he put the school books down. (Did I mention this was AFTER he earned his degree while working night shift?? I know, my husband is pretty amazing.)  He started building a relationship with the person who could hire him.  His visits to their shop weren’t guaranteeing him a position, but they were helping him build a bridge.  That was 2 years ago!

This shift was lonely for me.  I had to do so much alone.  I single parented for more than half the time since I’ve become a mother 4 years ago,  I had to plan birthday parties, go on vacation, celebrate holidays including Christmas, thanksgiving and birthdays without my husband by my side.  Even the small things like going to bed I had to do without him.

This could have easily hurt our marriage.  And at times, it did. We’ve been living separate lives for a long time.  Some days, we had no choice but to be ships passing one another in our harbor.  But we chose to pursue each other and keep our marriage alive.  There were so many times we had arguments and disagreements because of how tired he was and how tired I was from doing so much without him, he couldn’t even think clearly or remember a lot.  We each had our own reasons why the other was "right", but we had to realize we had to lay our armor down and trek on with our lives.  He would go back and forth from his schedule to appease us on his days and weekends off, but it was always hard on him going back.  It was rough on his health and sad for me to see it happen.

Sadly, it took me to the edge of hopelessness.  I was angry with God for making us endure it for so long and letting us suffer.  I told him I couldn’t do it any more and that He had to fix our lives.  As soon as I thought those words, I knew I was wrong.  I knew I was missing an opportunity to trust in Him, cling to Him and claim Him as my strength.  From that point on (18 months ago) I found my hope in Him.  I found a way to carry on for 4 days at a time without my husband and get through Christmas without him.  I owned my life that I have been GIFTED! No matter how hard it is! I came to be thankful for my family’s health and our job that my husband has that provides for us our life.

I don’t believe in coincidences.  I believe we waited this long because we are taking a pay cut, and we needed to be ready for that.  My business has grown to the point of becoming a substantial income for us.  I am able to pay for a lot of our bills because of it.  Duane told me we couldn’t take this pay cut without the income I make and survive.  He works hard and I couldn’t just sit by and not help.  I needed to be able to support our family outside of what he was bringing in, which is why I joined Jamberry.  I work hard, but I have a lot of fun! I’m just forever grateful for how our lives are woven together and how our story is unfolding.  I look back and see nothing but God watching over us, protecting us and wanting the very best for us.  We trust that God is in control, but we act like it all depends on us.

I came to a peace that even IF he didn’t get hired, I would be thankful for this sweet time in our lives to trust God.  If that was what we could walk away with and continue on with night shift living, I was going to be okay with that.  We would make it work.

The position finally opened up and Duane applied.  The paperwork was messy and it took for what seemed FOREVER to get the interview, but he finally got it! He nailed the interview (duh) and 3 weeks later, he received an email that HE WAS HIRED!!

It still takes my breath away.  I still can’t believe we get to be normal and function normally. It has been a long road.  One that has brought Duane and I closer to God and to each other.  We were never promised an easy life, but we are promised that God will always be with us.  He’s there to help carry our loads and free us from stress and worry. My friend, if you are carrying too heavy a load by yourself, STOP! Give it to Jesus and let him be your strength.

We want to thank those who have been tirelessly praying for us; my parents, our church family and our friends too!  All of those prayers gave us strength to carry on and we are grateful that we could come to you all with our load and ask for help to lift up our lives in prayer! You'll see a lot more of Duane now! We will be able to do life TOGETHER!

Thank you, Jesus!